My dog has ants!

 She walked into the grooming area, Lhasa in tow and declared "My dog has ants!"

"Do you mean fleas?" I say hopefully.  Perhaps she's just confused or has misspoken.

"My dog has ANTS!  SEE?"  she exclaims again, pointing at her dog.

I look the dog over.  It's very thin coated, you can easily see through the hair.  There is nothing.

I am reminded of James Herriot and his story about the paper mache Pug that had fleas...

She points again, more dramatically this time.

I look again.  Nope, nothing.

"Here are the bites!  Here and here!  Every time she goes out they attack her! Sometimes I see them in the house trying to climb on her!"

I studiously bend over the little dog and pull her hair aside.  I see nothing but perfect pink skin.

That is not the right answer.

"Oh yes" I say.  "I can give her a medicated bath that will take care of the problem and soothe her skin"

The lady is happy and she leaves.

At pick up she looks her little pup over and is thrilled to announce that she sees no ants and that the bites are completely gone.

This goes on at every grooming for several months.

Then one day she comes in and announces that the dog now has fleas.

Again, nothing.  No fleas, no flea matter, no bite marks.  Nothing.

I assure her that I will use the same special shampoo for the "fleas" that I did the "ants".  She is happy and goes home.  As usual, she checks the dog over and declares her "cured" at pick up.

This goes on for a couple more months and then one day, out of the blue, she calls to cancel her standing appointment.  Her pup, you see, is sick because she has so many fleas.  She just doesn't understand.  Her house is clean and she takes care of her dog.  She doesn't understand how this has happened.  It is implied that she feels I'm to blame.  Clearly the "special shampoo" isn't working any more.  I tell her I can use another product on her pup but it's clear that she's now distrustful....

I never heard from her again.

In the time I groomed this dog, every two weeks, it never had a single parasite on it.

I sometimes wonder about this pair and what kind of bugs are attacking them now...