I have a long time client who I really like. I groomed her old dogs for years before they passed away and a couple of years ago their family bought a new puppy. It doesn't have a lot of coat and so I didn't see it until it was a year or so of age. Huge mistake.
Each time I have groomed this poor dog it is more and more freaked out. It started out just acting spooky and has evolved into a screaming, struggling full fledged fear biter. I have suggested training, behaviorists, socialization, more frequent grooming, etc. All the things that would make a difference to this dog. NILIF (Nothing In Life Is Free) is a great training tool for dominant dogs and while this dog isn't dominant (confused and terrified is a more accurate description) it would help her too. Obedience, agility, even simple tricks would instill confidence. Socialization, just simply being out and about instead of cloistered in the back yard would be helpful too. They have made, as far as I can tell, exactly zero effort on behalf of this poor pup.
Today the dog came for grooming and had a complete melt down at the front door. The owner was wrestling with her, pulling her, etc. and I asked my bather to carry her so that she wouldn't back out of her harness (!!!!) altogether and be free. Her response to his approach was growling and a lunging snap. The owner finally got the dog in the door and told me that she must be freaked out because she walked by our cat. Ooookay. The poor girl continued to act up and she asked if I just wanted her to take her and go. (YES!!) But in reality, no No NO! The LAST THING ON THIS EARTH she needs is to be rewarded for her tantrum. Giving in and letting her "off" is the equivalent to telling a three year old that they can have whatever they want from the store if they'll just stop screaming. The owner then goes on to tell me that even though I told her that she is a fear biter, she really isn't, she just likes to put her teeth on your hand while you're brushing her. "I know that's bad, but it's just her reaction to brushing so we let her do it". I tell her that I will VIDEO the dog's behavior so that what I'm telling her is not lost in translation. I can tell the idea of having her dog's behavior filmed isn't thrilling her. If a picture is worth a thousand words, video is worth a hundred thousand and it's far more difficult to make excuses when you're handed proof of a thing.
We manage to get the dog bathed and dried, fans only, as the dryer would send this poor creature to the moon. I get her out and on the table where the rodeo really begins. We start with no muzzle and I have someone video her lunging and snapping. We try a simple E muzzle and video more of the same. I try a full muzzle and things just get worse. This poor dog is terrified and lashes out at anything she finds threatening, which is pretty much everything.
I finally get a reasonable tidy done and in the time I have before she is picked up I call a couple of local trainers and have referrals for a behaviorist and some reading material. I try to talk to the owner. She gives me a blank stare that is rich with the accusation that I am unfairly maligning her pet. I talk about the fact that she has small children, that they have friends, the liability that this dog is. Her response is a stoney silence that leaves no doubt she thinks I'm a heartless bitch. I find myself wondering if her twin brought the dog in this AM because how could she have witnessed what has gone on and continue to be in such denial? I start to suggest, since it's pretty apparent she thinks *I* am the problem, that she take the dog somewhere else. Perhaps if groomers two, three, four and five tell her there is a problem she will believe it? I refrain, I've already lost her, she's checked out, gone. There's no point in further discussion.
The really sad thing about this situation is that most of it is the fault of humans. Yes, this dog probably had a fragile temperament to begin with, but taken from a litter too early, inadequate socialization, no formal training (or any training at all) and the continued excuses have created a dog that is unsure, terrified, confused and out of control. The family's response to this is to do less with the dog, wrapping the dog in the cocoon of their denial and therefore making her worse and worse and worse.
Given her attitude, I am fairly certain that this woman will never be back and while I am frustrated, that might be the best. I just hate to see someone create a monster when there were so many points at which the tide could have been turned. Instead I have an angry client who doesn't want the truth, is offended by my honesty and who really just wants me to shut up and magically make her dog different in the three hours a year I see her. There is no leadership, no guidance, no hope really. Both ends of that leash are clueless.
Very, very sad.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
"Playing With Puppies"
"I don't mean to disrespect...." started a post on a forum I frequent. The gentleman went on to tell us that he and his wife are soon to retire from the military and they have decided that in their "after" life they are planning to be pet professionals. Frankly, we see a lot of this. Grooming is an unregulated industry and so anyone that chooses to pick up a clipper and call themselves a groomer can do just that. Craigslist's pet sectiuon is a testament to this phenomenon, as are the other "freebie" sites that litter the web.
But this gentleman is ambitious! They want a grooming/boarding/daycare facility with which to fund their golden years and he's come to pick our brains and find out exactly how it is that we are successful. After all, we spend the day playing with puppies for money! How hard could it possibly be? Surely, the exchange of a couple of dozen posts should bring him right up to speed! The fact that he asks us about how to start up such a business, from procuring a building to licensing demonstrates just how little he knows. Local ordinances and requirements vary from state to county to city. We can't help him with this.
What we can help him with is to start addressing the questions that he didn't ask.
"Do you have any grooming, training or experience with dogs?"
The answer comes swiftly. They love animals and they've owned a few dogs. It sounds like fun!
::Sigh::
The answers come trickling back across the web. I recognize the names. They are all well established owner/operators, most of whom have decades of experience.
We speak of the need to learn to groom (at least the basics) before you open a grooming salon. The need to know medical and physical care of dogs before you open a boarding kennel. The need to know animal behavior and to have the "instinct" for them before you turn dogs loose in a "daycare" type setting. The vast amount of knowledge that one should have before opening a professional pet care business. Some suggested that he and his wife divide and conquer and get jobs in the industry for a year or two before trying to open their own facility. Some suggested that their idea of "just finding experts" to work for them was unrealistic because 1) they have no idea who or what "the expert" is or should know 2) the people they would need would likely be unwilling to work for someone that has no understanding of what we do and how we do it and 3) anyone with the experience to anchor such a business more than likely already has their own business as that is what the majority of pet professionals do once they reach a certain point (and number of years) in their career.
He isn't listening. He's already skimmed over the advice being offered by a small group of professionals who collectively have over 100 years experience as pet professionals. He states that he appreciates our replies and then dismisses everything we've said. What he really needs to know, he explains, is whether or not one applies for a business or kennel license first. He's got everything else handled. After all, he loves dogs and he's had a couple of pets....
They are determined. They will try. They will also likely fail.
Still, it started me thinking about the public perception of exactly what it is that we do.
I'll start with my own history. I started showing dogs in obedience at 12. I won a statewide 4-H competition with a grooming demonstration at 13. While in college I worked as a groomer, vet tech, a junior handler and at a pet store as a obedience trainer.. In addition to obedience work I've bred and shown several generations of dogs that have excelled in conformation and agility. I've certified dogs for therapy work. I've served as VP for a national rescue group and I've personally fostered, rehabbed and placed over 100 dogs. Twenty six years down the road and I've owned my own grooming and boarding business for a decade. I know my stuff.
So really, what DO professional pet groomers and caregivers offer that a unemployed person with a pair of pet clippers from Wal-Mart advertising $25.00 grooms on Craigslist can not?
We are professionals who are part vet, chemist, behaviorist, trainer and dentist. We evaluate your pet's skin, coat, ears, teeth, behavior and general condition. We save lives by alerting owners to medical conditions that they didn't notice themselves. We use the highest quality products and equipment money can buy. We know how to do nails on a dog with dysplasia or luxating patellas without causing them pain and can gain the trust of a nervous or frightened pet even if we have to sing to them while we groom. We have the experience to discuss any training issue you need help with and can answer almost any dog care question you could ever think to ask. We handle razor sharp instruments around wiggly and sometimes uncooperative bodies all day long without injury to them or ourselves and when your pet is in our care you know that they are in a clean, secure, licensed and inspected facility. If your pet does have a medical emergency while in our care we know CPR and the quickest route to the nearest animal hospital. We never stop learning. We attend seminars, attend trade shows and aspire to competition quality work. We are active in online forums populated by the best of the best, both across this country and the world. We use positive training methods to teach your new puppy how to accept grooming happily and cry with you when the final light fades from that puppy's eyes 15 years later. We celebrate with you when once again there is the smell of puppy breath in your home and chew toys scattered about the floor.
We do these things because we have a love and a passion for animals. Is there a good living to be earned? Yes, but it doesn't come without many years of hard work and dedication. Does your dog's hair cut cost more than yours? Absolutely. Is it harder to get an appointment with us than some hack for whose talent there is no demand? You betcha! We are your best friend's second best friend and by joining forces we can form a partnership that will keep your pet healthy and happy for a lifetime.
Oh, and yes, we enjoy playing with puppies too...... :)
But this gentleman is ambitious! They want a grooming/boarding/daycare facility with which to fund their golden years and he's come to pick our brains and find out exactly how it is that we are successful. After all, we spend the day playing with puppies for money! How hard could it possibly be? Surely, the exchange of a couple of dozen posts should bring him right up to speed! The fact that he asks us about how to start up such a business, from procuring a building to licensing demonstrates just how little he knows. Local ordinances and requirements vary from state to county to city. We can't help him with this.
What we can help him with is to start addressing the questions that he didn't ask.
"Do you have any grooming, training or experience with dogs?"
The answer comes swiftly. They love animals and they've owned a few dogs. It sounds like fun!
::Sigh::
The answers come trickling back across the web. I recognize the names. They are all well established owner/operators, most of whom have decades of experience.
We speak of the need to learn to groom (at least the basics) before you open a grooming salon. The need to know medical and physical care of dogs before you open a boarding kennel. The need to know animal behavior and to have the "instinct" for them before you turn dogs loose in a "daycare" type setting. The vast amount of knowledge that one should have before opening a professional pet care business. Some suggested that he and his wife divide and conquer and get jobs in the industry for a year or two before trying to open their own facility. Some suggested that their idea of "just finding experts" to work for them was unrealistic because 1) they have no idea who or what "the expert" is or should know 2) the people they would need would likely be unwilling to work for someone that has no understanding of what we do and how we do it and 3) anyone with the experience to anchor such a business more than likely already has their own business as that is what the majority of pet professionals do once they reach a certain point (and number of years) in their career.
He isn't listening. He's already skimmed over the advice being offered by a small group of professionals who collectively have over 100 years experience as pet professionals. He states that he appreciates our replies and then dismisses everything we've said. What he really needs to know, he explains, is whether or not one applies for a business or kennel license first. He's got everything else handled. After all, he loves dogs and he's had a couple of pets....
They are determined. They will try. They will also likely fail.
Still, it started me thinking about the public perception of exactly what it is that we do.
I'll start with my own history. I started showing dogs in obedience at 12. I won a statewide 4-H competition with a grooming demonstration at 13. While in college I worked as a groomer, vet tech, a junior handler and at a pet store as a obedience trainer.. In addition to obedience work I've bred and shown several generations of dogs that have excelled in conformation and agility. I've certified dogs for therapy work. I've served as VP for a national rescue group and I've personally fostered, rehabbed and placed over 100 dogs. Twenty six years down the road and I've owned my own grooming and boarding business for a decade. I know my stuff.
So really, what DO professional pet groomers and caregivers offer that a unemployed person with a pair of pet clippers from Wal-Mart advertising $25.00 grooms on Craigslist can not?
We are professionals who are part vet, chemist, behaviorist, trainer and dentist. We evaluate your pet's skin, coat, ears, teeth, behavior and general condition. We save lives by alerting owners to medical conditions that they didn't notice themselves. We use the highest quality products and equipment money can buy. We know how to do nails on a dog with dysplasia or luxating patellas without causing them pain and can gain the trust of a nervous or frightened pet even if we have to sing to them while we groom. We have the experience to discuss any training issue you need help with and can answer almost any dog care question you could ever think to ask. We handle razor sharp instruments around wiggly and sometimes uncooperative bodies all day long without injury to them or ourselves and when your pet is in our care you know that they are in a clean, secure, licensed and inspected facility. If your pet does have a medical emergency while in our care we know CPR and the quickest route to the nearest animal hospital. We never stop learning. We attend seminars, attend trade shows and aspire to competition quality work. We are active in online forums populated by the best of the best, both across this country and the world. We use positive training methods to teach your new puppy how to accept grooming happily and cry with you when the final light fades from that puppy's eyes 15 years later. We celebrate with you when once again there is the smell of puppy breath in your home and chew toys scattered about the floor.
We do these things because we have a love and a passion for animals. Is there a good living to be earned? Yes, but it doesn't come without many years of hard work and dedication. Does your dog's hair cut cost more than yours? Absolutely. Is it harder to get an appointment with us than some hack for whose talent there is no demand? You betcha! We are your best friend's second best friend and by joining forces we can form a partnership that will keep your pet healthy and happy for a lifetime.
Oh, and yes, we enjoy playing with puppies too...... :)
Saturday, May 4, 2013
My dog has ants!
She walked into the grooming area, Lhasa in tow and declared "My dog has ants!"
"Do you mean fleas?" I say hopefully. Perhaps she's just confused or has misspoken.
"My dog has ANTS! SEE?" she exclaims again, pointing at her dog.
I look the dog over. It's very thin coated, you can easily see through the hair. There is nothing.
I am reminded of James Herriot and his story about the paper mache Pug that had fleas...
She points again, more dramatically this time.
I look again. Nope, nothing.
"Here are the bites! Here and here! Every time she goes out they attack her! Sometimes I see them in the house trying to climb on her!"
I studiously bend over the little dog and pull her hair aside. I see nothing but perfect pink skin.
That is not the right answer.
"Oh yes" I say. "I can give her a medicated bath that will take care of the problem and soothe her skin"
The lady is happy and she leaves.
At pick up she looks her little pup over and is thrilled to announce that she sees no ants and that the bites are completely gone.
This goes on at every grooming for several months.
Then one day she comes in and announces that the dog now has fleas.
Again, nothing. No fleas, no flea matter, no bite marks. Nothing.
I assure her that I will use the same special shampoo for the "fleas" that I did the "ants". She is happy and goes home. As usual, she checks the dog over and declares her "cured" at pick up.
This goes on for a couple more months and then one day, out of the blue, she calls to cancel her standing appointment. Her pup, you see, is sick because she has so many fleas. She just doesn't understand. Her house is clean and she takes care of her dog. She doesn't understand how this has happened. It is implied that she feels I'm to blame. Clearly the "special shampoo" isn't working any more. I tell her I can use another product on her pup but it's clear that she's now distrustful....
I never heard from her again.
In the time I groomed this dog, every two weeks, it never had a single parasite on it.
I sometimes wonder about this pair and what kind of bugs are attacking them now...
"Do you mean fleas?" I say hopefully. Perhaps she's just confused or has misspoken.
"My dog has ANTS! SEE?" she exclaims again, pointing at her dog.
I look the dog over. It's very thin coated, you can easily see through the hair. There is nothing.
I am reminded of James Herriot and his story about the paper mache Pug that had fleas...
She points again, more dramatically this time.
I look again. Nope, nothing.
"Here are the bites! Here and here! Every time she goes out they attack her! Sometimes I see them in the house trying to climb on her!"
I studiously bend over the little dog and pull her hair aside. I see nothing but perfect pink skin.
That is not the right answer.
"Oh yes" I say. "I can give her a medicated bath that will take care of the problem and soothe her skin"
The lady is happy and she leaves.
At pick up she looks her little pup over and is thrilled to announce that she sees no ants and that the bites are completely gone.
This goes on at every grooming for several months.
Then one day she comes in and announces that the dog now has fleas.
Again, nothing. No fleas, no flea matter, no bite marks. Nothing.
I assure her that I will use the same special shampoo for the "fleas" that I did the "ants". She is happy and goes home. As usual, she checks the dog over and declares her "cured" at pick up.
This goes on for a couple more months and then one day, out of the blue, she calls to cancel her standing appointment. Her pup, you see, is sick because she has so many fleas. She just doesn't understand. Her house is clean and she takes care of her dog. She doesn't understand how this has happened. It is implied that she feels I'm to blame. Clearly the "special shampoo" isn't working any more. I tell her I can use another product on her pup but it's clear that she's now distrustful....
I never heard from her again.
In the time I groomed this dog, every two weeks, it never had a single parasite on it.
I sometimes wonder about this pair and what kind of bugs are attacking them now...
What I've learned about rescue groups...
As long as there are too many pets and irresponsible people, there will always be rescue groups. What started out as a few local folks here and there has morphed over the past couple of decades into behemoth groups reaching across state lines and in some cases, the country. While most rescues are good groups, there does seem to be a certain faction of them who are in "the business" of saving dogs. That it's now considered more politically correct to adopt than to purchase a puppy from a breeder has only fueled the rescue craze.
Before I go further I should say that I was involved, very involved, with several rescue groups for a decade in my younger, pre kids and business life. I stepped away from rescue when the placement of foster dogs became emotionally too much for my young children and the business became too demanding of my time. I've fostered, trained and placed over a hundred homeless dogs. In short, I've given my pound of flesh to the effort. I've done my time.
As the "new groomer" with a fledgling business I began to be contacted by a large assortment of people. They would show up at my door. They would corner me at the grocery store. Wouldn't I like to be their friend? Wouldn't I like to donate a groom for their fundraiser? What a coincidence, I had a small farm and a kennel license and they had so many dogs needing foster homes, wouldn't I like to volunteer? They'd just saved ten matted solid dogs from a mill, wouldn't I like to groom them for free?
The truth is, there are times over the years that I've wanted to say yes to their requests. I just can't. Why not? Because I know all too well from experience how these situations turn out.
It begins with a phone call. A rescue angel notes that there is a new business in town and of course, they'd love to bring in one of their rescue dogs. A sweet face with a sad story and they're off to the races. They know that you love animals or you wouldn't be doing what you do.... "I'm just fostering this dog you see, she really isn't mine, I just wanted to do the right thing. How much would you charge me to groom her? Oh, that much? (Sigh) Ok, I just couldn't afford that. The most I could afford would be (insert ridiculous amount here)" The other scenario is that they DO book the appointment and then go into their song and dance whilst acting like you are snatching the food from their table. What is a groomer to do? Well, if you are gullible you think "of course I want to do the right thing and if she's a foster home then she has dogs of her own and she might be a valuable client. She will refer her friends. Perhaps even the adoptive owners of this dog will come back." You agree to groom the dog at a ridiculous discount and the lady gushes about what a wonderful person you are.
They've got you.
The next week, she has a new foster and she's referred you to her friend, who has two fosters. They show up, singing your praises, pay their newly negotiated fee and then head out for lunch and shopping while you wrestle with unmaintained dogs who are not used to being groomed and who are not excited about the process. Your afternoon is shot, you've made half what you need to meet your own needs and your reward is that when your new friends come back, relaxed and full after their girls' afternoon out, they promise to tell all their friends. They keep that promise.
Congratulations. You are now the newest, least appreciated, member of their rescue group!
The new friends refer their friends and soon you are losing a days' income every week. When they pull dogs out of a puppy mill, you are their first call. Dogs infested with fleas, ticks, mites? They call you as an emergency before taking the dogs to their facility. They gossip while you work and are long gone before you finish sanitizing and cleaning the entire salon to ensure that tomorrow's clients don't go home with parasites. They've run out of foster homes? Who better than a groomer to foster their dogs? You say you have vet tech experience? You're invited for lunch and oh by the way, could you please clean these ears and trim those nails? It will only take just a few minutes....
The dogs run together and "fosters" reappear again and again. One day they slip up and tell you they adopted the dog. Six months ago. Their personal dogs start slipping into appointment slots and they come with their check made out for the exact amount - the discounted "rescue" amount for their dogs too. You cringe when you see their name on the caller ID, because you know that if they're calling you, they're about to ask the unreasonable. Of course, the more you do the more stretched their funds seem to be. If you try to set boundaries they will try them like a velociraptor testing an electric fence. They are constantly on the look out for a breach, no matter how small, that will allow them a firmer foothold on your time and energy.
One day, for the sake of your own sanity (not to mention your wallet) you must put an end to the freebies, the deeply discounted work, the space they are taking up in your business and your life. If they can get you to show any weakness at all the cycle continues. If you do stick to your guns they disappear as soon as they can find someone, ANYONE that will agree to charge them $2.00 less than you do.
There is no appreciation for what you have done. There is no loyalty to you or your business. The entire episode will transpire without one viable client to show for it. They have used you for what they could get and since they are no longer able to feed off of your resources, they are headed down the road looking for the next gullible soul....
This is why I don't offer discounts to rescue groups. Why I can't be the rescue groomer.
Please be assured that this is not an indictment of all groups but rather an explanation of what I've learned through my own observations and why I refuse to combine business and rescue. My most recent experience is with a HUGE group that spans the entire eastern seaboard. They exclusively rescue fluffy toy dogs. Shih Tzus, Maltese, Yorkies and mixes thereof. Because these darlings are in such high demand they charge ridiculous adoption fees. In my dealings with one of their foster homes, I have been told that they don't reimburse or build in any funds for grooming and that it is the sole responsibility of the foster homes. Thus, in her mind, it is my obligation to share her noble sacrifice. Perhaps it's just me, but how can any group charge north of $500 for an adoption fee based on the fact that it's an adorable fluffy toy dog but have no resources for grooming?
I'm just not buying it....
Some day I will probably be active in rescue again. At a date, time and place of my own choosing :)
Before I go further I should say that I was involved, very involved, with several rescue groups for a decade in my younger, pre kids and business life. I stepped away from rescue when the placement of foster dogs became emotionally too much for my young children and the business became too demanding of my time. I've fostered, trained and placed over a hundred homeless dogs. In short, I've given my pound of flesh to the effort. I've done my time.
As the "new groomer" with a fledgling business I began to be contacted by a large assortment of people. They would show up at my door. They would corner me at the grocery store. Wouldn't I like to be their friend? Wouldn't I like to donate a groom for their fundraiser? What a coincidence, I had a small farm and a kennel license and they had so many dogs needing foster homes, wouldn't I like to volunteer? They'd just saved ten matted solid dogs from a mill, wouldn't I like to groom them for free?
The truth is, there are times over the years that I've wanted to say yes to their requests. I just can't. Why not? Because I know all too well from experience how these situations turn out.
It begins with a phone call. A rescue angel notes that there is a new business in town and of course, they'd love to bring in one of their rescue dogs. A sweet face with a sad story and they're off to the races. They know that you love animals or you wouldn't be doing what you do.... "I'm just fostering this dog you see, she really isn't mine, I just wanted to do the right thing. How much would you charge me to groom her? Oh, that much? (Sigh) Ok, I just couldn't afford that. The most I could afford would be (insert ridiculous amount here)" The other scenario is that they DO book the appointment and then go into their song and dance whilst acting like you are snatching the food from their table. What is a groomer to do? Well, if you are gullible you think "of course I want to do the right thing and if she's a foster home then she has dogs of her own and she might be a valuable client. She will refer her friends. Perhaps even the adoptive owners of this dog will come back." You agree to groom the dog at a ridiculous discount and the lady gushes about what a wonderful person you are.
They've got you.
The next week, she has a new foster and she's referred you to her friend, who has two fosters. They show up, singing your praises, pay their newly negotiated fee and then head out for lunch and shopping while you wrestle with unmaintained dogs who are not used to being groomed and who are not excited about the process. Your afternoon is shot, you've made half what you need to meet your own needs and your reward is that when your new friends come back, relaxed and full after their girls' afternoon out, they promise to tell all their friends. They keep that promise.
Congratulations. You are now the newest, least appreciated, member of their rescue group!
The new friends refer their friends and soon you are losing a days' income every week. When they pull dogs out of a puppy mill, you are their first call. Dogs infested with fleas, ticks, mites? They call you as an emergency before taking the dogs to their facility. They gossip while you work and are long gone before you finish sanitizing and cleaning the entire salon to ensure that tomorrow's clients don't go home with parasites. They've run out of foster homes? Who better than a groomer to foster their dogs? You say you have vet tech experience? You're invited for lunch and oh by the way, could you please clean these ears and trim those nails? It will only take just a few minutes....
The dogs run together and "fosters" reappear again and again. One day they slip up and tell you they adopted the dog. Six months ago. Their personal dogs start slipping into appointment slots and they come with their check made out for the exact amount - the discounted "rescue" amount for their dogs too. You cringe when you see their name on the caller ID, because you know that if they're calling you, they're about to ask the unreasonable. Of course, the more you do the more stretched their funds seem to be. If you try to set boundaries they will try them like a velociraptor testing an electric fence. They are constantly on the look out for a breach, no matter how small, that will allow them a firmer foothold on your time and energy.
One day, for the sake of your own sanity (not to mention your wallet) you must put an end to the freebies, the deeply discounted work, the space they are taking up in your business and your life. If they can get you to show any weakness at all the cycle continues. If you do stick to your guns they disappear as soon as they can find someone, ANYONE that will agree to charge them $2.00 less than you do.
There is no appreciation for what you have done. There is no loyalty to you or your business. The entire episode will transpire without one viable client to show for it. They have used you for what they could get and since they are no longer able to feed off of your resources, they are headed down the road looking for the next gullible soul....
This is why I don't offer discounts to rescue groups. Why I can't be the rescue groomer.
Please be assured that this is not an indictment of all groups but rather an explanation of what I've learned through my own observations and why I refuse to combine business and rescue. My most recent experience is with a HUGE group that spans the entire eastern seaboard. They exclusively rescue fluffy toy dogs. Shih Tzus, Maltese, Yorkies and mixes thereof. Because these darlings are in such high demand they charge ridiculous adoption fees. In my dealings with one of their foster homes, I have been told that they don't reimburse or build in any funds for grooming and that it is the sole responsibility of the foster homes. Thus, in her mind, it is my obligation to share her noble sacrifice. Perhaps it's just me, but how can any group charge north of $500 for an adoption fee based on the fact that it's an adorable fluffy toy dog but have no resources for grooming?
I'm just not buying it....
Some day I will probably be active in rescue again. At a date, time and place of my own choosing :)
Friday, March 29, 2013
What I really meant to say....
Here is a translation of statements I've heard countless times over the past three decades. As I listen to a client (or would be client) spin their tale of woe, there's a voice in my head decoding the discussion I'm having with them, layering it with the truth of what they're saying. Below is how the conversations start along with what these folks really mean...
"I've been meaning to call you..." My complete lack of planning is now your problem."
"Are you working today?" See above.
"How much to groom a dog?" Unless you offer "dirty dawgs done cheep" grooming you are too expensive.
"I have to talk to my husband, wife, mother, sister, neighbor, cousin, friend, etc. and I'll call you back" You've quoted me $5 more than the "dirty dawgs done cheep" groomer down the street and you will never hear from me again.
"But I've only been paying $50 for my Standard Poodle/Doodle/Old English Sheepdog/Rare Giant Whiffle Hound" Lies.
"She's not matted" She's matted.
"The kids brush her every day" She's matted.
"I left her with a neighbor and they didn't brush her all weekend!" She's matted.
"She played outside yesterday" She's matted.
"I don't want her short" She's matted.
"The last groomer was lazy and shaved off all her hair you won't do that, will you?" The last groomer peeled a year's worth of mats off my dog but she's in better shape this time because it's only been 11 1/2 months!
"He doesn't bite" He bites.
"He just playing" He bites
"He just wants to put his teeth on your hand" He bites
"He growls and shows his teeth but he doesn't bite" He bites.
"He doesn't like (insert laundry list here) but he's never bitten anyone" His previous groomers have the skills of a lion tamer and the reflexes of a ninja.
"He bites" You'd better have hog tying experience and a pair of kevlar gloves.
"My dog is special, old, sick, etc and you have to be very gentle with him" I want you to bend over backward to accommodate me and my arthritic, incontinent and cranky dog but don't dare ask for me to come at a special time, charge any more or keep him any longer than you would a healthy, young, cooperative dog as that would be an inconvenience to me.
"Clip him as short as you can but don't shave him" I want my dog shaved.
"S/he's not a show dog" I think this might be the first time you've ever seen a specimen of this breed and I'm reassuring you that my puppy mill dog who is groomed quarterly is not a closet Champion. No really, we're very worried that you will fret that he won't look like a "Best In Show" dog when you're done...
"Don't make her look like a Poodle" I believe that you are going to conjure up a dark voodoo spell and cause my (insert any breed) to shape shift into a Poodle.
(Seriously? Never in thirty years have I had someone say "Don't make her look like a Shih Tzu." What gives? What IS the obsession with Poodles?)
"Will you call me when he's ready?" Regardless of the fact that you've told me three times he'll be ready at 2:00, if you don't call, I'm not showing up. I will, however, call you at 3:00 to ask if he's finished.
"I have this special shampoo and she can't be bathed with anything else" I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way here because I don't believe that your human grade, $50 a gallon, spa quality shampoo will ever be as gentle on her skin as this Sargeant's Special that I paid $2.99 for. I will call you three days from now to complain that you must have bathed her in something else because she's itching like crazy.
"Grooming is so expensive, I usually do it myself" My dog has been trained that if he struggles, screams and snaps that all grooming activity will cease. He also looks like he's been attacked by zombie wielding a weed whacker and I want you to fix it. Cheaply. Today.
"Do you give multiple discounts?" I own four high maintenance dogs and believe that you should subsidize my lifestyle choices. No rush though because my new Mercedes is being detailed, the housekeeper comes today and I have a spa appointment at 3:00.
"I have a Lab/Golden Doodle" I'm probably stupid.
"I have a Lab/Golden Doodle and the breeder told me it would never shed and only require grooming 2x a year" I am definitely stupid. Conversely, I think that YOU are stupid because you laugh when I inform you that a cross between one of the heaviest shedding breeds and the highest maintenance breed on earth will neither shed nor mat and that it's a "light, wavy, natural coat, requiring little care". Clearly, you don't know this "breed" very well!!
"I'm a regular client" You've seen us twice in the past three years and it's the week before Christmas. Despite the fact that you barely remember me I'm going to state that I"m a "regular" because that will magically clear a spot on your schedule and cause you to exclaim "Sure, come right on over!" (Sometimes paired with name dropping a relative, friend, etc. who actually IS a regular client with the inference that you'll lose the "good" client if you don't give them what they want. Of course, the "good" client booked their Christmas appointment in October....)
"You're the BEST Groomer in the WHOLE WORLD!" If I repeat this ad nauseam you'll put up with my crap forever. Of course, if at any time you fail to deliver exactly what I want, when I want it, for the price I want you will never hear from me again as I go forth in search of the world's TRULY "Greatest Groomer".
"I want to schedule boarding. How much will that be? Wow, I've never boarded a dog before. Yes, go ahead and book us in." As soon as I hang up this phone I am contacting every family member, neighbor and friend within a ten mile radius to see if I can drum up some one who will watch them for free.
"You don't open until 8:00? I HAVE to drop off at 7:30!" I'll come wandering in at 9:00.
"I've tried every groomer in town and no one grooms her right" I am impossible to please and I will never, under any circumstances, be happy with anything you do.
Of course, this doesn't cover everything, but it's a start. The vast majority of my clients are great people with great dogs and I love most of them ; ) It's always amusing though, because the people that do make the above statements think that they are so clever and original!
Happy Grooming!
"I've been meaning to call you..." My complete lack of planning is now your problem."
"Are you working today?" See above.
"How much to groom a dog?" Unless you offer "dirty dawgs done cheep" grooming you are too expensive.
"I have to talk to my husband, wife, mother, sister, neighbor, cousin, friend, etc. and I'll call you back" You've quoted me $5 more than the "dirty dawgs done cheep" groomer down the street and you will never hear from me again.
"But I've only been paying $50 for my Standard Poodle/Doodle/Old English Sheepdog/Rare Giant Whiffle Hound" Lies.
"She's not matted" She's matted.
"The kids brush her every day" She's matted.
"I left her with a neighbor and they didn't brush her all weekend!" She's matted.
"She played outside yesterday" She's matted.
"I don't want her short" She's matted.
"The last groomer was lazy and shaved off all her hair you won't do that, will you?" The last groomer peeled a year's worth of mats off my dog but she's in better shape this time because it's only been 11 1/2 months!
"He doesn't bite" He bites.
"He just playing" He bites
"He just wants to put his teeth on your hand" He bites
"He growls and shows his teeth but he doesn't bite" He bites.
"He doesn't like (insert laundry list here) but he's never bitten anyone" His previous groomers have the skills of a lion tamer and the reflexes of a ninja.
"He bites" You'd better have hog tying experience and a pair of kevlar gloves.
"My dog is special, old, sick, etc and you have to be very gentle with him" I want you to bend over backward to accommodate me and my arthritic, incontinent and cranky dog but don't dare ask for me to come at a special time, charge any more or keep him any longer than you would a healthy, young, cooperative dog as that would be an inconvenience to me.
"Clip him as short as you can but don't shave him" I want my dog shaved.
"S/he's not a show dog" I think this might be the first time you've ever seen a specimen of this breed and I'm reassuring you that my puppy mill dog who is groomed quarterly is not a closet Champion. No really, we're very worried that you will fret that he won't look like a "Best In Show" dog when you're done...
"Don't make her look like a Poodle" I believe that you are going to conjure up a dark voodoo spell and cause my (insert any breed) to shape shift into a Poodle.
(Seriously? Never in thirty years have I had someone say "Don't make her look like a Shih Tzu." What gives? What IS the obsession with Poodles?)
"Will you call me when he's ready?" Regardless of the fact that you've told me three times he'll be ready at 2:00, if you don't call, I'm not showing up. I will, however, call you at 3:00 to ask if he's finished.
"I have this special shampoo and she can't be bathed with anything else" I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way here because I don't believe that your human grade, $50 a gallon, spa quality shampoo will ever be as gentle on her skin as this Sargeant's Special that I paid $2.99 for. I will call you three days from now to complain that you must have bathed her in something else because she's itching like crazy.
"Grooming is so expensive, I usually do it myself" My dog has been trained that if he struggles, screams and snaps that all grooming activity will cease. He also looks like he's been attacked by zombie wielding a weed whacker and I want you to fix it. Cheaply. Today.
"Do you give multiple discounts?" I own four high maintenance dogs and believe that you should subsidize my lifestyle choices. No rush though because my new Mercedes is being detailed, the housekeeper comes today and I have a spa appointment at 3:00.
"I have a Lab/Golden Doodle" I'm probably stupid.
"I have a Lab/Golden Doodle and the breeder told me it would never shed and only require grooming 2x a year" I am definitely stupid. Conversely, I think that YOU are stupid because you laugh when I inform you that a cross between one of the heaviest shedding breeds and the highest maintenance breed on earth will neither shed nor mat and that it's a "light, wavy, natural coat, requiring little care". Clearly, you don't know this "breed" very well!!
"I'm a regular client" You've seen us twice in the past three years and it's the week before Christmas. Despite the fact that you barely remember me I'm going to state that I"m a "regular" because that will magically clear a spot on your schedule and cause you to exclaim "Sure, come right on over!" (Sometimes paired with name dropping a relative, friend, etc. who actually IS a regular client with the inference that you'll lose the "good" client if you don't give them what they want. Of course, the "good" client booked their Christmas appointment in October....)
"You're the BEST Groomer in the WHOLE WORLD!" If I repeat this ad nauseam you'll put up with my crap forever. Of course, if at any time you fail to deliver exactly what I want, when I want it, for the price I want you will never hear from me again as I go forth in search of the world's TRULY "Greatest Groomer".
"I want to schedule boarding. How much will that be? Wow, I've never boarded a dog before. Yes, go ahead and book us in." As soon as I hang up this phone I am contacting every family member, neighbor and friend within a ten mile radius to see if I can drum up some one who will watch them for free.
"You don't open until 8:00? I HAVE to drop off at 7:30!" I'll come wandering in at 9:00.
"I've tried every groomer in town and no one grooms her right" I am impossible to please and I will never, under any circumstances, be happy with anything you do.
Of course, this doesn't cover everything, but it's a start. The vast majority of my clients are great people with great dogs and I love most of them ; ) It's always amusing though, because the people that do make the above statements think that they are so clever and original!
Happy Grooming!
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